It’s New Year’s resolution season. You know the drill: “This is the year I’m going to quit my job, run a marathon, lose 25 pounds, and finally learn French.” Fast forward two weeks, and you’re stress-eating chips, wondering if Duolingo will ever forgive you for ghosting it.

What happened? Simple—chances are good you asked the wrong question.

‘Can I quit my job and start that business?’
‘Can I get in shape and lose 25 pounds?’
‘Can I get the promotion and salary I really want?’

The problem is, ‘Can I?’ is the wrong question. It’s holding you back, and I’m here to tell you what to ask instead.

Why ‘Can I?’ Will Never Get You There

Here’s the problem with “Can I?”: It’s a dead-end question. It only has two answers—yes or no—and let’s face it, our brains love to default to no.

Why? Because no is safe. No doesn’t require change, risk, or effort. And once you’ve landed on no, you can spend the rest of the day building a ten-page mental essay about why you were right to give up.

Congratulations, you’ve just become your own worst hype man.

The One Question That Changes Everything

Instead, ask yourself:

What would it take?

“What would it take?” takes the can / can’t / maybe / should / shouldn’t out of the equation. It assumes success is already on the table. Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out how to make it happen.

This shift forces your brain to fill the gap, and suddenly, you’re thinking creatively.

Would you need to delete TikTok for a week? Skip Netflix for a month? Hire a babysitter—or bribe your kids with candy and screen time to give you a break? Maybe you’d need to take a sabbatical from work or, heck, move into a cave like a hermit and write your magnum opus.

Suddenly, you’re solving problems instead of finding excuses.

The beauty of this question is that once you know what’s required, you have a choice to make. And it’s yourchoice. It’s no longer just a dream—it’s a decision. One you can own or set aside.

How Asking the Right Question Got It Done

The other day, my wife Ashley was stressed about meeting a deadline for a course she’s taking. She sighed, “I’m just not going to make it in time.”

I told her, “Wrong question. Ask yourself, ‘What would it take to finish this in two weeks?’”

Suddenly, ideas started flowing. Outsource the laundry? Skip cooking dinner for a week? Hire a small army of personal assistants? (Okay, maybe not that last one.)

Once she reframed the problem, she realized it was doable. She just had to decide what she was willing to change to make it happen.

How Asking the Right Question Changed My Career

I once wanted to start a Customer Success initiative at my company, but no one was interested—least of all my boss.

Instead of giving up, I asked, “What would it take to make this happen?”

The answer: I had to get out from under my boss, educate myself, and become the go-to expert.

So, I did just that. I got certified, talked to anyone who would listen about Customer Success, and became the person the company turned to for answers. Six months later, when the COO came on board, I was ready.

Because I had spent months asking myself, “What would it take?” I had the answers when the opportunity came—and I landed a global role building Customer Success.

Your Turn: 5 Steps to Crush Your Next Goal

So how can you bring this powerful question to bear on your own success? Follow these five steps:

Step One: Choose

Choose a task, objective, or goal. Start with something tangible and short-term—closer goals make for better practice.

Step Two: Reframe

Reframe the challenge by asking, “What would it take to make this happen?”

Better still, put a deadline on it. Don’t just ask, “What would it take to run a marathon?” Ask, “What would it take to run a marathon in six months?” The tighter the deadline, the more creative you have to get.

Step Three: Get Creative. Get Ridiculous.

Start brainstorming answers to the question. What could you change? Go wild:

• Would it take $1,000?

• Would it take 1,000 hours?

• Could you delegate something?

• Could you clear your calendar?

Don’t let what’s “possible” (or even “probable”) get in the way. If you conclude that $1,000 would make your goal happen, then suddenly you might start getting creative about how to find that $1,000.

Step Four: Commit. Or Don’t.

Now that you know what it’s going to take, here’s the beautiful thing: You have total freedom to take on the challenge or decide it’s not worth it.

If you decide it’s not worth it? That’s fine—at least you made an intentional, informed choice. That’s empowering in itself.

But if you decide to go for it, you’ll know exactly what you’re signing up for.

Step Five: Break It Down

Make sure you know what your next step is. If your brain doesn’t say, “Yes, I know what to do next and can absolutely take action,” you probably haven’t broken it down enough.

Ask Better Questions, Get Better Results

This simple question is a game-changer. It transforms your goals from distant daydreams into crystal-clear action plans.

It forces you to see possibilities instead of limits, solutions instead of excuses. It shrinks timelines and builds unstoppable momentum.

The next time you’re staring down a challenge, forget ‘Can I?’ and ask, ‘What would it take?’

The answer might just change your life.